Space
by Misfortune XIII
Summary: I like having space between myself and others.I live in my own personal bubble. I love it. I need it. I crave it. So why don't you tell me, Roxas Hikari, why you're trying so hard to tear down the barriers that I've worked so hard to put up?


**Author's not; Well tis been awhile hasn't it? :p**

**DON'T HATE ME! Well maybe you deserve to but I'll tell you now I had first term exams, stupid pointless assignments and no inspiration for the next chapter of my main story AND my internet crashed. Whoop di doo. :S So I came up with this to entertain you guys! :D I got the inspiration from this girl Katie...something or other that visited our school today who wrote a book about girl problems. She spoke to us juniors about self esteem and stuff for one whole period and spent ANOTHER class with just the girls so we could have conversations about the world of girls (including the unspoken rules of the girl code...wtf? Since when did teachers care about that?) , their friend problems, mean girls, backstabbing friends, friendships and...boys. And to top it off, there were no teachers there for the final assembly...except the principal...well let's just say it was a little more than awkward! XD **

**The idea about this story was based upon needing space. It was sorta touched upon in our assembly, and that assembly was a little more than uncomfortable because everything she said made sense about me and my ex best friend who was sitting four seats away from me...So you can see why I like my space! XD **

**Kinda depressing, fluffy and random with added paranoia for Naminé! Oh and I learned how to get that accent thingy on the e in Namie's name! X3 So proud of me self...C: I'd also like to point out that our little blond girl has a random voice in her head that doesn't really help much...don't ask. You can guess the italics are for that lil voice! **

**Hope you like it! :)**

Space.

I love it.

I need it.

I crave it.

No, not the kind of space as in the moons, stars or planets that astronauts are sent to, I mean space as in your own personal bubble, the distance between you and those around you, the empty area that isn't supposed to be filled; that kind of thing. It's my security blanket, my wall, my protection. I like keeping a distance from others in order to feel comfortable and safe. When someone gets too close I feel invaded, cornered and afraid.

I'm a naturally withdrawn person who doesn't socialize much and who doesn't enjoy the company of many people. Being too close to someone gives them a chance to scrutinize me, judge me and evaluate me both mentally and physically. This is why I love my space, why I need it, why I crave it.

My head was hung low while my eyes watched whatever passed through my line of vision. I made sure to manoeuvre myself around the crowd to avoid trouble and made my way to the lunch tables. My hands clutched my sketchbook tightly to my chest as I ambled towards my usual table. My sketchbook was my other security blanket; the one I could count on to pour my imagination into, to let out my feelings and thoughts that shouldn't stay cooped up in the recess of my mind; it was my outlet. As for my table, no one ever sat there but me; thankfully. I mentally counted the steps that it would take me before I made it to my table, all while holding my breath in hopes of going unnoticed.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two..._SMASH_.

That wasn't good.

I found myself on the cafeteria floor with my hair sprawled across the ground and no recollection of who I hit. I blinked cautiously while raising my head up slowly. A crowd had formed causing me to inwardly panic. My blank expression soon turned into a fearful one when a voice cut through the crowd of whispers.

"BITCH!" it screeched.

"_Xion. It was Xion's voice,"_ the voice reminded me.

"WHAT THE HELL?" she roared.

I sat up with my feet spread out in front of me while holding my head in my left hand. "_That must have hurt,"_ it mused. Well duh. I watched as the black hair girl eyed me angrily. She rose immediately without the help of her friends and stomped towards me.

Oh no. No no no no no. This can't happen. She's going to get too close.

She closed the gap between us while the crowd grew silent. She grabbed a fistful of my black sweater below my neck and hoisted me up roughly. Her eyes bored into mine with such resentment that I wondered if she wanted to kill me. All I did was bump into her. She didn't even hit her head. My eyes grew wide as she brought my face closer to hers in an attempt to intimidate me. The next words she spoke were filled to the brim with venom.

"You stupid whore," she hissed, "You fucking klutz!"

"I'm s-sorry," I muttered weakly, "I-it was a-an a-acci-accident."

"Accident?" she laughed darkly," This was an accident? Well_ this _was my new four hundred dollar outfit and your little _accident_ caused me to spill coffee all over it!"

She was too close. She was scaring me. I didn't like being touched. I didn't want her here. I can't breathe.

She was too close...

"_She's got you there,"_ the voice laughed.

I wheezed helplessly as she glared down at my pitiful form. Suddenly, a slap echoed throughout the cafeteria. My mind slowly processed the fact that Xion slapped me across the face, but I didn't dare touch the mark otherwise she'd surely hit me again. My expression once again turned blank as she took the opportunity to throw me on the floor. I used my feet to push my body back; further away from her. My black and white Adidas shoes proved to do nothing in lengthening the distance between us; I ended up backing into a wall.

"_Now you really are cornered,"_ it snickered.

She advanced menacingly with the clacking of her black stiletto heels echoing throughout the surprisingly silent cafeteria. Did people really have nothing better to do than watch the loner get assaulted by the popular girl?

I folded my knees up to my chest in a vain attempt to stay away from her. I cowered as she got closer and I knew she would invade my personal space again. I didn't want that. No no no no no...

"What's going on?" an obviously confused male voice asked.

Xion's head snapped up to the sound of the boy's voice and it was clear as day that she no longer cared to bully me. The crowd split in two allowing Xion to follow the voice. A boy with spiky blonde hair emerged from the area causing Xion to squeal in delight as she ran to hug the boy by his neck.

Roxas.

That was his name; Roxas Hikari. Anyone who dared to touch the handsome, popular skater boy was as good as dead as long as Xion had her sights set on making him her new boyfriend. _"More like boy toy,"_ the voice groaned.

Realising that Xion had no interest in bullying me anymore now that he was here, I took my leave. I crawled towards my sketchbook and picked it up while frantically pushing the torn pictures back in. Without a second glance, I stumbled to my feet as I sprinted towards the stairs. No one helped me; no one ever did. They would never dare interfere when their social status was on the line. I had to mentally thank Roxas for coming when he did; otherwise Xion might have done much more than slap me.

I made my way to the second floor and searched for the familiar set of doors. I hurried down the hallway and quickly found the door that read; do not enter. I smiled thankfully before pushing it open and ascending the small staircase. There was one more set of doors to be pushed open before I was met by a cool spring breeze. A comfortable silence enveloped the school's roof as I stepped out onto it while closing the door behind me. There was a railing that rested on the perimeter of the roof and I made my way towards it.

"_That's better,"_ my mind sighed.

No one's here to bother me. No one's here to scare me. No one's here to hurt me.

I smiled as I breathed in the welcomed winds. I let my feet dangle of the edge of the platform as I sat comfortably on the roof. It was times like these that I cherished the most. I could enjoy a peaceful scenery without any loud, unnecessary interruptions. The wind sent shivers down my spine and goose bumps along my arms which was the moment that I flinched.

I was bruised.

Again.

With a sigh I stretched my arms over my head all while ignoring the stabbing pain that it caused my bruise. I sat quietly while watching the students who hung around the front of the school during the lunch period.

Suddenly, my head snapped up to the sound of the door opening and I prayed it wasn't Xion. I didn't want my sanctuary to be invaded by that spiteful girl. My eyes widened when a set of blonde spikes poked out of the door and I realised they belonged to none other than Roxas. He looked at me with an expression that I had never seen be directed towards me; worry. His eyebrows furrowed and small wrinkles formed on his forehead as his eyes inspected the scenario I was in.

"_Oohhh I get it,"_ the voice admitted in an amused tone_,"he thinks you're going to jump."_

Could I really?

I mean that could solve a lot of things, but just because I was bullied didn't mean I wanted to die. I could deal with it; I always have. Besides, how could I see the world if I died? I couldn't enjoy the food, the culture or the experiences to go with them. I chuckled inwardly as his eyes widened. He really did think I was going to jump.

"I'm not that crazy," I told him quietly.

His expression softened as he opened the door and closed it swiftly behind his tall, lean form. He advanced towards me causing me to fall into a panic. I didn't want to be close to someone; not yet. Once he came to my side and sat beside me in a similar fashion, I scooted over. I noticed from the corner of my eye the bemused expression on his face. Deciding to entertain himself, he scooted towards me causing me to do what I always did; move away. Once he realised I'd keep doing what I did, he stopped moving. Although I didn't want to speak to him I had a nagging feeling that had been pestering me since the moment he arrived.

"Why?" I asked quietly without tearing my gaze away from the scenery.

"Because," he answered in an equally short reply.

He was always one to frustrate me, but I wouldn't let him get the better of me.

"Elaborate," I told him.

He breathed in before turning to look at me. I didn't face him, but I looked from the corner of my eye as he changed the subject.

"How long?" he asked.

"How long what?" I said.

"How long has she done this to you?" he repeated.

I remained quiet before asking stupidly, "done what?"

He sighed before pulling something out of his back pocket of his loose fitted blue jeans. I grew curious as he fiddled with the small device and finally placed it between us. I eyed the machine suspiciously before a video started playing; it was me. It was the event that had just occurred. I held my breath as I watched my cowardly self hide from the black haired girl. She grabbed me before slapping me in the face and throwing me to the ground. Suddenly angry with himself, he grabbed the cell phone and stopped the video.

"A friend taped this," he explained when I stay quiet, "I couldn't believe it no matter how many times he played it."

"It was my fault," I murmured, more to myself than to him in a vain attempt to convince myself.

He suddenly got very close to me; too close. I scooted away but he just grabbed my wrist and pulled me back. I refused to look at him.

"Look at me," he said.

I didn't.

"Look at me," he demanded.

I didn't.

With a sigh he put his hand under my chin and raised my face to look him straight in the eyes. His cerulean blue irises held worry, frustration, and sadness. The feeling of guilt bubbled up inside the pit of my stomach as his eyes gazed into mine. I was comfortable, yet I wasn't. I was happy that someone cared, yet I still felt slightly afraid. The words danced on the tip of my tongue and before I had a chance to stop them, I spoke, "three months."

His body went rigid as the silence enveloped the two of us once again. He casted his eyes down and removed his hand from my chin. I thought he'd move away but his hand slid down to mine. They were always hidden in within my sleeves but he pulled them back far enough to reveal my pale white skin. He drew random patterns on it unconsciously while contemplating what to do. At that moment I took the time to look at him. His blonde spikes were in disarray and his eyes were clouded. His white shirt had a pair of black long sleeves that were rolled up to his elbows and a matching collar. He wore a pair of loose fitting jeans that exposed his boxer's waistband which I immediately looked away from in fear of blushing and looked towards his feet that dangled off the edge; they were adorned in a pair of black Converse. He was attractive, I would admit; that must have been a good enough reason for Xion's crush towards him.

"Are you hurt?" he asked suddenly.

I snapped my gaze back to his eyes that were now looking at me with guilt. He shouldn't be sorry. He was the only one to say hi to me in the hallways, he was the only one to pair up with me willingly on assignments, he was the only one who ever sat at my table with me, and most of all he was the only one who cared.

"No," I lied smoothly.

"Bullshit," he retorted.

I was taken aback by his response and noticed how intently he was looking at me. I was uncomfortable with this. I didn't like being the center of attention. I didn't like being looked upon. I didn't want to be judged and yet at the same time he made me feel safe. I didn't understand this; why was I not scared when_ he_ was invading my personal bubble?

"E-excuse me?" I asked unsurely.

"You heard me," he replied before repeating himself," that's bullshit and we both know it."

"I'm f-fine," I stammered.

I tore my gaze away from him to look at the scene below me. Kids were roaming around, chatting and enjoying themselves. I then realised he was right. I wasn't fine. I never was.

My frail body was suddenly enveloped in a hug. My pupils dilated as my body stiffened on contact. He was in my bubble. He was touching me. He was in my space, and yet, I was ok with that. His arms wrapped around my upper back and around my neck in a sort of side hug. His abs were touching my bruise, and I couldn't' help but flinch. I hoped he wouldn't notice, but he did. Carefully he ran his hand along the side of my bruise and I flinched again; he caught me.

Dammit.

"Told you," he mumbled before gently hugging me again.

I didn't know how, I didn't know why, but he broke me. Right then and there I cried; I broke out into a fit of hysterics. Hot tears fell freely as I turned into his embrace and used my small fists to pound at his chest. He didn't let go of me, instead he held me tighter. I continued sobbing as I let out my frustrations on him until I was too weak to do anything. My hands rested on his chest as he rubbed soothing circles on my back until I calmed down. The entire time Roxas had stayed quiet, and only until I reduced to sniffling did he usher a single word.

"It's not healthy to hold in that kind of pain," he informed me before pushing my shoulders back to look me in the eyes. This time I didn't look away.

"I've seen it," he explained, "I've seen that look in your eyes. Every time I've seen you your eyes were cold, your expression was blank and it was obvious you were holding something in."

"You don't understand," I sobbed.

"No," he agreed," I don't, but tell me and I might."

I breathed in deeply to calm my shaking nerves before speaking, "I don't like people and I don't like talking. I don't like being in contact with anyone in general. I'm afraid; I'm terrified of judgement. I don't like people labelling me just because I'm different. I can't hold a conversation if my life depended on it. I'm weak, I can't stand up for myself and I'm terrible at lying. I'm frail, I'm thin and I'm sickly looking. I'm a target for being bullied and no matter what I do I can't change that!"

I wiped away a few stray tears before continuing," I like space, I like keeping a distance between me and other people so they can't hurt me. When I'm being hurt I suck it up and wish to have my space back. That's what I feel safe with, comfortable and happy with when there's no one around to understand or help me! It's what I've always wanted!"

I stopped speaking; only my loud intakes of breath were heard. I let it out; I finally confided in someone but I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. Roxas then looked back at me with a sincere expression in his eyes giving me enough reassurance that he wouldn't tell a soul. His smile was soft and I was tempted to cry again. His thumb brushed away my tears before anymore words were exchanged.

"I like conversation up to a certain point. I like being with people but I prefer being by myself. I ignore what people think of me and embrace what I am. I can crack a good joke or two and get a good laugh from people if I want to. I'm strong, mentally and physically, I refuse to be pushed around and I'm a great liar. I'm tall, lean and muscular with a tan. People respect me because of my social status, my strength and my bad boy reputation."

He paused before smiling even more brightly, "close friends are great, I like having my own space when I need to think and I will get up in people's faces if they piss me off. When I'm hurt I send it right back to those who gave it to me usually with a punch to the face. And all_ I_ want right now is to help _you_."

"_Gotcha,"_ the voice snickered.

I was speechless. He contradicted everything I just said; he was my exact opposite. His smile was sheepish but it quickly turned into a smirk. He could tell we were opposites and yet it didn't bother him.

"We're different, I get that, and maybe that's a good thing," he guessed, "We can understand each other and confide in one another like we just did. You need someone to protect you, and I want to be that person. I know I can do it; I want to help you, but you have to trust me. Sound like a fair trade to you?"

"I don't trade my trust," I huffed.

"Then let me earn it," he smirked.

I wanted to protest but his lips had claimed mine. My thoughts grinded to a halt as I my mind went blank, so I did what I would usually do; go with my instinct. It turns out that my instincts told me to kiss him back. This was new, this kind of contact had never happened to me before. I was unsure, and yet I knew now that I could do it; I could trust him with my feelings and safety.

Roxas Hikari was in my bubble. He closed the distance between us and got into my personal space. He tore down my walls and broke through the barriers that protected me. My security blanket was gone and I was out of defences, but you know what? I think I'm ok with that. In fact, I hope he does it more often.

**Author's note: Cheez fest! X3**

**Sooo any thoughts? This was kind of important to me because I have my own bubble too. And guess what; there are people who invade it, it makes me feel uncomfortable leading to my disappearance from the group leaving them to wonder "WTF?" Not my fault they get up in my space. It was kinda depressing to start out with and I kinda made it sound like she was suicidal for a minute didn't I? XP That was unintentional I swear! **

**I honestly wish there were guys like that in my school (and were as attractive as señor Hikari XP) because they're all kinda jerk-ish. Anyway back to the story, I was going to give Nam-Nam a group of small friends consisting of Axel, Zexy, Dem and Larx and people like that but I felt the message would make more sense if I didn't. So this is how it ended up! It's actually very sentimental compared to what I usually write! I like it so far. Gotta work on my vocabulary though. I also need to point out that some words were used a lot but that was the point. It needed to be straightforward with this. Oh and some people told me my paragraphs are a little big which I don't deny so tell me if this is better! Actually these are a little short...I know a paragraph is supposed to be five to seven sentences long...blah blah blah...I just wanted the ideas to be a little more separate. **

**If you have questions ask away even if they have something to do with my other stories. I'd also like to ask you readers and writers a question;**

**For those of you with an account, would you like me to personally reply to your comments? **

**I thought I would do shout outs in the Author's notes, but then I thought I could be more specific if I reply via post. It's just an idea; I don't even know if a lot of people will read this! XD Thanks for reading, and thank for your patience! I'd like to let you know the next chapter of What a Life is pretty much done! I might add a dream or two but its done for the most part. Its a girls day so don't be too disappointed for lack of abilities and lack of Roxy. XP Sorry for taking up so much space in a stupid authors note! CX**

**Adios amigos~! **

**~XIII **


End file.
